Take a breather, will ya?

It's hard to find yourself sitting there in complete calmness. It's difficult because we don't work that way. We don't take a breather. Our mind is being ripped apart in a million different directions. We allow that to happen though. Don't you see? We find reasons to not lay still. We work our minds so much that we begin to think a moment of peace is well deserved, but not welcome. We don't welcome serenity, we just wish it. We love hoping for things, not appreciating them or even noting them when they do occur. We are so burdened by our burdens, we don't allow ourselves the chance to be free. We don't admit it though. We are ignorant of it. We rant and complain and whine and preach about how we don't get what we want, and how this world never works for us, and how we would do anything for a little peace and quiet time. Therefore, we've established the main ground for what our focus is, what we're striving for, what we hope for the results to be. We've asked the questions, so now what is the hypothesis? Oh that's right, IF I finish this this this this this this this and that that that that and this that and this that, then yes, I'll achieve it all with success. I'll finally be finished. I'll then take a breather. Now, we've stated the hypothesis. But what about the experimental design? How do we go about this? Let's do everything and anything in our to do list. That's right... the to do list. The infamous to do list that states how many to do lists we have to make. We write steps on how we can achieve these burdening tasks and how fast we can get them done. Then we see those lists and write down everything we can so we can cross everything we can, only to realize that there are only two routes that we can take. So let's gather the data and observe so we can conclude. We can either finish not even half of the items off the list and become disappointed. We can start venting out and blame ourselves for the failure or the world for creating obstacles. We can cry out and put ourselves in a worsening stage of rejection, fear, failure, and loss of confidence. We can also fake ourselves into creating more lists and thinking "This time, I'll turn things around. I'll finish everything!" At the moment, it's game over for us. We have lost round X. We will have to get up, after we have completely let ourselves drown in misery, just so we can put ourselves in the same exact situation all over again. We can't be content right now. We can't rest. We can't sleep anymore. We need to move quicker, act faster, think sharper, and breathe later. Let's observe route #2 and say that we finished everything off the list. That's right. We have actually completed every ridiculous and random task that managed to find a home in our to do lists. We have won right? We have finished the game? We exhausted ourselves and beat time and made history and challenged ourselves and tricked our minds all for completing these tasks so we can starting enjoying the peace that comes after. So we can feel worthy of it and say that we earned it and actually be able to recognize it in every form it comes in. Right? WRONG. That's not what happens. We finish these tasks just to find ourselves looking for this peace that isn't anywhere to be found. We create another unofficial task, "find essence of serenity" only to realize that we can't seem to. What now? All hope is gone. It's not like route #1, where we have enough ignorance to just start all over. We have finished everything this time. There is no rematch. Nothing to restart. So what now? What.. what what... what nothing. There is nothing. We have won just to fail. What we have learned? Can't say. We're in too much shock right now. Fuck peace. We are enraged. We are angry. We can't just sit and complain now. We'll now FIGHT for freedom. We'll BATTLE whatever we can in order to be content. We'll never rest until justice is achieved! But I ask dear people, when will we just learn how to simply take a breather and realize there is no winning? No failing? We just have to breathe and let ourselves wind down until we can see that peace never left us.... we left it.