Different states

Sometimes when we're thinking, we begin to take note that we are deep in thought. Is that even possible? Can we distance ourselves yet be tangled in tumors of memories? Can we become fully aware of our surroundings and still be lost? I can see myself stuck in loops, repeating moments, wasting time in endless mazes. I realize this. I'm able to make complete sense of my abilities at the time.  During all of that, I find myself underneath stacks of past mistakes, embedded in my presence, in the present, within layers of stress.  Or I've shifted into the future, planning out every move that can get me to where I'll probably never be.

Can I exist in two different states? Ones that contradict each other?  Can I be calm as ever while having an anxiety attack? I believe anything is possible so I shouldn't rule anything out. It's human nature to conclude what we cannot achieve, not what we can and have or will. I can't sit here and keep pointing out that I am writing this blog while being so lost in it that I cannot stop typing. I am self aware and I am also too lazy to be analytical.